Ok so its been a while...my bad. So today was Anthony's wedding and it went swimmingly if I say so myself. Jenny was beautiful in her gown and we looked awesome as the grooms men...even though our vest was seafoam green, but hey it matched the women's dresses and thats what really matters right? Right! So heres the point Im trying to get to....It was Anthony's turn to throw the garder (or how ever you spell it) and so on. All the single guys (not married) had to gather to catch it. All the guys egged on Anthony to throw it at me, cuz I would have probably made the funniest reaction to it....cuz face it; Im an animated guy...right? Right!. So anyways the garder goes flying....above all of our heads....and this is funny because none of the guys even attempted to catch it, we just watched it go over our heads. Buck was the one who caught it but thats so it wouldn't fall to the ground....I kid you not, no one went for it...although I almost did to get a few laughs.

But the main...main....point Im getting at is that Anthony's cousin, some little asian girl, came up to me and said "dont worry, you got the iPhone" in some attempt to console and cheer me up, it was the cutest little thing ever.

So apparently since I didnt catch the garder, I will get married sooner then the guy who caught the garder...because the iPhone has that kind of power, and Im ok with that

I got a job interview at Gamestop on Friday. If I get that job my young life will be complete. Who all can honestly say that they worked at Six Flags Over Texas selling Pink Things, cotton candy and eventually became Sylvester in costume....working at Six Flags was enough, but to be a character was freaking amazing. I visited many countries in my youth and at Europe again at an age I can remember. Im in college working on a degree that will set me up for my conducting career I seek. I marched in a division 1 drum and bugle corps.....marching in a bugle corps alone is also awesome, but a semi-decent corps is even better. Graduted honors in high school and was in top 15% of my class.....missing the top 10% by just 10 people (64 out of 543). I dont know what made me recount all the things Ive done in my life, but Im just so excited that I got an interview at Gamestop and feel pretty confident that I will get it

So lets update on my life...ya know cuz its been a while.
So to start things are a little bleak....like my dad. "Your dad?" you might ask...well hes not doing so good. Lets start with some background info. He and my mom divorved while I was 5....just starting school...and my little brother, who was 3 at the time, was gonna grow up with out a father figure. Needless to say I was a little angry for him leaving the family at such an important time...and my older brother, 15 at the time, was just entering high school. I was young but I wasnt stupid...I knew my life was gonna be affected by this and the time kids my own age all got made fun of when something wasnt normal about them....like divorced parents....handicaps...not having the latest toy, you freakin name it. So I grew up with my mom and my mom alone....forced to look after my younger brother...cuz my older brother went to the military the minute he graduated high school. Through out the years my dad wanted nothing to do with us. Right after they divorced we went through a very tough time.....we went from 2 pay checks to 1...which almost wasnt enough but we got through somehow. For example.....we knew we werent gonna get a lot of presents one xmas cuz we were hard on money.....so christmas day came and my little brother and I each got 2 presents. I got a video game for my sega I got the last xmas and a remote controlled truck. My little brother also got a remote controlled truck and some cheap painting materials (cuz he loved painting at the time). Those presents were no where near what we wanted, but we cherished those gifts becuase it didnt come easy for my mom to get....who by the way got nothing of her own that xmas. I still remember this because all of December I kept telling myself "Dont worry, dad will come and surely help out"....he never did...he was to busy running around North Carolina looking for women. My dad failed me then, becuase thats what a dad isnt suppose to do..in my mind at the time. Throughout the years it was consistent.....I needed money for something for school...mom would say ask your dad and he immediately say he has no money when actually (unbeknownst to me at the time) he was getting 2 retierment checks and had a well paying job as a sheriff of N.C., that bastard. Needless to say he was never there for us and wanted nothing to do with us....until recently...

My dad is in the hospital...he has been....and the doctors give him about 2 months or so to live, I dont know the full details. He had heart problems...always has...and the doctors wanted to try something new....but it might result in death or him being paralysed. Well he got both. Hes paralysed from the waist down and has a short ticking time clock on his life. He calls us and tells us he would love support now more than ever. My thing is why would he want us now when he needs something....but when we needed him most....my whole life....he was no where to be found? Why??? But since Im not heartless I call him about once or twice a week to see how he is. I dislike my dad...but I dont wish death upon him. So lately I am having a very hard time placing my feelings in the correct place. I keep thinking how I would be so different if he was in my life and I had a father figure....and I also thinik about how I am now with out him......I think now more so on my flaws then how I really am.

So thats a big portion of whats goin on is my dad....but theres oooo soooo more.
Me and the ladies arent really doing to good. When I say that I basically mean how I long for a significant other but have yet to find one. Everyday I more and mroe think Abilene isnt the most right place to find that someone. When you talk abou race with me I can get pretty indepth. Like for example...I dont really believe in sterotypes. I think its a poor choice of words to try and categorize the world. By saying that all asians are smart....most whites who live in the country are hicks....and all blacks are dangerous gang bangers is pretty stupid. Cuz when someone who doesnt know better is going to see that race automatically thinik the stereotype. I am far from the stereotype of a black person. I wear a belt....I speak correctly (most of the time) I dont wear sports clothing and legitimatley think its fashion. I dont listen to rap and a lot of R&B.....and most of all I like white women. Every now and then I run into a few ignorant people and they question me and ask why im not "black" which I respond "I am black....cant you look above race and not be so stupide" which usually follows with some wise ass crack on me which then I just walk away with a piece of my pride left behind. I dont really know where I was going with this....but girls are stupid.....especially here. Its gonna be a long time before I find that partner that can look beyond race and see me for me...and not "that black guy". I really hate it when my name comes in conversation and people find out Im black and they get shocked......the whole world is ignorant....they proved that when they assassinated Martin Luther King.....the world, I think, just showed they arent ready for everyone to be one. Im gonna just go run away to Utopia and come back when 1. Schools and Universities stop giving out scholarships based on race. 2. When a sport isnt dominated by 1 race....like basket ball, golf, football, etc. 3. When someone mentions someones name...they can simply say *insert name* and not "Did you so and so, the black guy, got that job title I wanted. Whatever....you get what Im trying to say.

Lastly McMurry...I hate it
I damn well should have made Collage....but I didnt cuz the Chair of the Department is a poor exscuse of Leadship. Freakin pisses me off....I think that this year's Collage is freakin biased with singers.....soooo stupid. Also I feel prepared for my Sophomore Proficiency this time around. If I fail it again.....let me repeat.....if I fail it again I will transfer.....and not look back